p.s. Chapter 7 (the yaoi chapter) is on my fanfiction. Tenki-chan is my fanfiction name if you didn't know
Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Bleach...If I did there would be harem/Ichigo everywhere XD
Warnings: Ichigo's usual bad temper and language
Summary: Ichigo woke up chained and shirtless! What the hell happened? This is AU.
Yakuza~ (yay mafia~! lol XD) ( I looked it up and this is what I got and I kinda tampered with the system to help me so its a little off XD)
Kumicho (Aizen Sousuke): This is the supreme boss of the whole organization. He is the boss of administration issues and concerns and general in military affairs. (All in all he is a BA SOB)
Saiko-komon (Tousen Kaname): The senior adviser. He deals with the administrative matters and the legal stuff. The Shingiin (law adviser) and the Kaikei (accountants) are under him. This position is equal to the Wakagashira
Wakagashira (Ichimaru Gin): This is the first lieutenant. He deals with the military aspects of the group (and in Gin's case surveillance cuz we know our lovable fox can't help but eavesdrop). This position is equal to the Saiko-komon
Shateigashira (Starrk Coyote): This is the 2nd lieutenant. Basically he's the third in command. He is kinda like the Wakagashira's assistant. If the Wakagashira can't lead in military for some reason then it is up to the Shateigashira.
Chapter 8: Deal?
I'm really not sure what woke me up on this marvelous craptastic day. I think my mind registered something about being colder than it was a while ago. Or the bed was emptier? Whatever. All I knew was I sure as hell didn't want to get my ass outta bed. Scratch that. I didn't want to get my sore ass outta bed. But light kept filtering through wherever the fuck it was filtering through and at this moment I really wanted to just kill the sun. I mean, did we really need the fucking thing? It just wakes up honorable citizens without consequences!? I mean, what the hell? Why can't it just stay down a few more hours…days…hell, never come back, stupid sun!
I groaned as I rolled onto my stomach and buried my head in the silky pillows, hoping I could somehow go back to sleep and this sore ass of mine could be a stupid nightmare. But life is a cruel bitch sometimes, especially mine, so with a sigh I rolled back over and glared at the ceiling. I tried to piece together my world.
Here I was, in the luxurious bedroom of practically one of the most infamous people in Japan. My life was in the hands of Aizen Sousuke and I was basically meant to be some sort of entertainment for Mr. Snobby-Pants. Escape was so not imminent and Aizen was basically untouchable to everyone who was sane. But damn, how the hell did this happen? How the hell did that sleazy rat Nezumi get anything in my drink to begin with? I know better than letting strangers near my drink. Stranger Danger 101 and all that. And I could have sworn that I didn't take my eyes off of him the whole time…Maybe I was just distracted or something? It was loud and the lights were blaringly distracting. Jeez, it's like they create the atmosphere to give all the wrong people advantages over others. Damnit, I can be really stupid sometimes. I gave the ceiling the scowl it deserved. What are your thoughts on this, Mr. Ceiling?
Unfortunately, the ceiling didn't have any answers for me. It was too busy wallowing in self-pity because it knew how hideous its paint job was. And so, the ceiling just continued to stare at me with my new most hated color: white. I glanced to the side of the bed that was previously occupied by an evil demon with terrible interior design skills. Tch. Bastard. Couldn't even be there when I woke up or nothing?...Not that I wanted him to be there! No! I so fucking didn't! He could just go fuck himself next time!
An unexpected blush hit me as thoughts of last night flittered through my mind and I quickly slammed a pillow on my face in order to hide it. Sure, no one was here, but still! I wanted to pretend I wasn't blushing so there! How dare that man even make me blush like...Like a teenage girl or something!
The sun was filtering through loose curtains of crimson. They framed a window overlooking whatever the hell city this was and thankfully added some color to this white room. Besides the two red pillows on the bed and the curtains, everything was monochromatically boring. Made me wonder if his tv only showed black and white. Maybe he was just so boring he sucked out the color of everything and the only survivors were his last remaining red pillows and the curtains. Maybe he was a demon who survived on eating color. And souls. And virginity. Wonder if the fox ever got his true demonic form on camera.
With the thought of a voyeuristic fox, I was peaking over the pillow and scanning the four corners of the room. I know that crazy fox said he didn't put surveillance in Aizen's room, but I decided I could trust him about as far as I could throw him. And judging from that kick he caught yesterday…I'd say I couldn't throw him far.
With a final glance I concluded there weren't any devices that could record me doing anything embarrassing, stupid, or…discovering I was totally not chained to this bed! YES! I win! I quickly touched my neck and realized I didn't even have my collar on...The collar! Not mine! Damnit, mind! Pull yourself together!
I pulled the sheet off the bed and quickly wrapped it around my waist, tying it in a crazy knot. Why am I doing this? Just ask yourselves this simple question: Would a sadistic bastard leave you pants to wear? No. No he wouldn't. And so his beautifully made, and no doubt expensive, silk sheets get to be tied to my waist and dragged across the floor. Would I get satisfaction out of such a petty act? You bet your ass I would.
I got to the door at lightning fast speeds and I didn't even trip over the long fabric getting in my way (alright fine! I did, damnit. Shut up, don't laugh, jerks!). Now, imagine my surprise when I tried opening the door, only to find it locked. Shoulda known, but still disappointing.
"…Fuck," I muttered to myself, glaring hatefully at the door. A voice that sounded annoyingly like Aizen began to echo in my mind. It told me with great sophistication and pretty words how I was a fucking idiot for even trying and I should've known that the door would have been locked. Maybe with a little less swearing. A shudder of dread went through me when I imagined a swearing Aizen. It equaled apocalyptic events, I'm sure.
Thus, I did what any sane person would do at a time like this. I kicked the fucking door. Hard. So unfortunately fucking hard.
"Agh! Fuck, damnit, shit, shit, SHIT!" I cradled my foot as I hopped back to the bed. "Gah! My fucking toes…I'm so sorry toes…"
And then I tripped…again. I went down in a twisted mass of black silk. And this time I landed on my ass. Which just decided to remind me how fucking sore that was. Thus it was, with great consideration, that I made a conclusion about today.
"Worst. Fucking. Day. Ever…EVER!"
After a moment of much needed recovery and figurative licking of wounds, I carefully sat down on one of Aizen's armchairs. They may have been white, but I would forgive them because they were so freaking comfortable. Despite the cushioning, I was still trying to shift in the seat to protect my sore ass. I scowled in deep concentration until I found an awkward, but comfy position in the chair. And that is when I realized with a huff of annoyance that the TV remote was not within reach. I glared at it as it taunted me from the coffee table, before getting up with resignation and snatching it. I then rediscovered my hard-won position in the armchair.
"Stupid Aizen," I muttered in irritation. "Doesn't even have to be here to ruin my life."
And then the channel surfing began. There was absolutely nothing on. NOTHING. Just an endless stream of worthless commercials about cleaning products, jewelry, and special limited edition coins for those people that actually cared. It would be nice to be that person. To have my only care in the world involve the wondering of my next shiny coin. Unfortunately I had bigger problems.
Another cleaning commercial. Another coin commercial. Oh! What's this? A kitchen!? Maybe a cooking commercial? I watch intently as someone spills something on the floor…Cleaning commercial. Damnit all! This place does not need any more cleaning! Aizen should block all of these damn commercials! What was the point of being super-duper rich if he couldn't do that!?
I pressed the channel button angrily, deciding that if this was a commercial too I would break something. Or at least rant at nothing. Not to be a pansy or anything, but the latter option sounded a lot safer than the former.
Luckily, it wasn't a commercial. YES! An actual show! After a quick thanks to the gods, I focused in on the television. It seemed to be in the middle of the story, but it looked pretty interesting. It was one of those crime and detective shows, but the main character seemed to be a kid.
The credits rolled down the screen too soon though, and I was stuck with nothing to do but commercials and more commercials. Then it hit me. I could be like that kid! Solve cases and problems and stuff! I'll be a detective and scan the room for clues. Maybe I could formulate a plan of escape!
Hyped up and ready for action, I decided to explore the room of the great and majestic Aizen Sousuke (enter eye-roll here). Being a detective would be awesome! Anyways, it's not like I had anything better to do right? Being naked and locked in a room that belonged to the leader of the Yakuza kinda dwindles available options... But whatever! It was time to think positive and detective-like! I was still alive right? That was positive. Hmm. What else? An observation or a deduction of some kind…
"My apartment isn't white like an asylum for the insane," I thought out loud as I looked at Aizen's annoying walls. "That was something positive and it used observation and detective skills." I nodded to myself in agreement as I scanned the room for anything useful in a death-defying escape. Maybe something that could help my new-found and temporary profession. Or, at the least, something that could entertain me so I wasn't driven insane by the all the damnable white.
I continued wandering until I found my entertainment in the unlikeliest of places: underneath the bed of evil. Detective profession officially over. I grinned as I held my prize in the air, wiggling out from under the bed with accomplishment. Then I trained my eyes to the walls and flicked the cap of the red marker off with malicious intent. I was so better at being a vandal than a detective anyway. That wall was goin' down. If Aizen was gonna be a lousy interior designer than the least I could do was help him.
"Yes, I'm spiteful." That was the first thing I wrote on his no-longer pristine white wall. Sure, I was probably gonna regret it later, but screw it. I'll go insane if I don't get a little justice, even if it is just doodling crapily drawn stick figures on his walls in fire-truck red marker.
"A lesson: Don't leave red markers in your room unattended." That was what I wrote on the second wall, along with little Chappy doodles. I hated the shitty bunny so he can join me in the torture of knowing Chappy. I looked at the third wall with thoughtful concentration, trying to decide what life lesson I should put on it.
"Wish you kept Fox-Face's weird cameras up now, huh?" That was what I wrote on the third wall with a slight smirk, drawing a stick-figure fox and writing "Fox" above with an arrow in case he couldn't understand my masterpiece. And now on to the fourth wall. I was humming to myself as I stared at the wall. Hmmm. Couldn't really think of anything else to write.
I decided to just draw little music notes around the wall until I came up with something, shifting the blanket wrapped around my waist a few times to make sure it didn't fall. I finally decided to just write one word to emphasize why you shouldn't leave me in a locked room for a long period of time when I wasn't chained to a bed. "BOREDOM."
I plopped on the bed with a sigh of contentment, stretching and marveling in my awesome and newly designed room. I glanced up at the ceiling and a smirk tugged at my lips before I stood up on the bed, writing "BOOO!" in stark red on Aizen's ceiling. I snickered as I added a ghost next to the letters before re-capping my marker and looking at my handiwork in accomplishment.
And that, unfortunately, is how Aizen found me. Standing on his bed and literally caught red-handed.
My eyes widened with the impending doom and my life flashed before my eyes as I made the most rational decision of the day. I dropped the incriminating marker as I leapt from the bed, blanket in hand, and bolted for the bathroom door. I securely locked it as my heart tried to jump outta my throat. Fuuuuucck.
"I'm so gonna die," I whispered to myself frantically. "Oh shit, I'm so gonna die!" I hurriedly began to pace as I scanned the room for anything to block the door with. "I'm gonna be put in an unmarked grave or…or…sleep with the fishes!" I grabbed a white sofa and began pushing it towards the door, before putting a coffee table on top of it.
My head snapped to attention when I heard a knock coming from the door.
"Ichigo," Aizen's voice was muffled and strangely calm from the other side of the door. "Open this door."
"No!" I immediately shouted towards the door, dragging an arm chair behind the sofa. "I don't want to swim with the fishes and you can't make me!"
"Now why would I take you for a swim, Ichigo?" his voice responded with cool assurance.
"Because you're insane!" Was my quick and frantic response.
"…You're acting like a child-"
"Do not interrupt me when I am speaking, Kurosaki Ichigo," his voice sounded like cool steel. Oh, I was so gonna die. A slow and horrible death for sure. "And I will not leave, as this just happens to be my room."
"Sorry…" I mumbled.
"And do not mumble," he chastised. "Now open this door."
"But I don't wanna die…" I complained, slightly louder than a mumble.
"I will not kill you, Ichigo," he said in a voice that made me want to believe him.
"Well, you're obviously blind," I began. "Or don't see what you don't want to. News flash, I wrote a bunch of stuff on your walls." Oh, for the love of God! Shut up Ichigo! If he doesn't see the mess then maybe I still have a chance! Maybe I won't have to live the rest of my life stuck in this bathroom. I wonder if I can live off of water and toothpaste…
"I am…well aware of this." I didn't need to see him to tell that his eyebrow twitched with annoyance. I could hear it in his voice "However, I have no need for a dead teenager. Necrophilia holds no interest for me."
"…Ewww," was all I could reply with.
"Indeed," he said matter-of-factly. "Now will you stop acting like a child hiding after they did something naughty, or will I have to find a lock smith?"
"I am not child!" I said heatedly.
"Then do not act like one," he stated bluntly.
"Fine!" I shouted, as I looked at the jumble of furniture blocking the door. "Um…just give me a moment." I began crawling through the gaps of the furniture and found myself laying on the sofa, reaching over it to unlock the door. "Alright!" I called out. "I got it. Now I just gotta move all this-"
My sentence faded into a mumble as I looked up at the door opening. I was left staring up at Aizen from my current position, his eyebrow arched in question.
"I am guessing that you did not realize this door opened outward, not inward," was his smooth reply.
"I guess not," I said, giving him a look that roughly translated to: you are kind of a pain in the ass. He just had to belittle me every flipping chance he got.
Aizen looked over the state of his bathroom with mild disappointment before his gaze returned to me. I tried to play it casual, tangled in his jumbled furniture. It didn't work so well.
"I have something to discuss with you," he said as he stepped away from the door. "Someone will be summoned to arrange the bathroom lounge and clean my walls."
I squirmed my way out of the furniture and couldn't conceal my surprise. He's just letting it go? Like that? What is this, Frozen? Is his ice queen heart melting?
"Not to worry, Ichigo," he said as he made his way to the chairs in his bedroom. "You will be properly punished for your bad behavior."
"How reassuring…" I said as I secured my blanket and plopped on the chair. "Now what's this 'something' you have to discuss with me?"
I scowled at him with suspicion. He sipped some tea that had been set on the table as he calmed himself. Part of me didn't regret the disaster I hit his room with. The grimace of annoyance and unease he tried to conceal was so worth it. Decision made: make a mess if Aizen gets irritating. His control-freak nature can't stand it.
"It's simple," he said, placing his tea cup down. "I have a deal for you."